Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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