I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
