im about as happy as oj after his trial
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
