I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i need some magic done to my vagina
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
