The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
