If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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