we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How naked do you want me to be?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
