Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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