No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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