so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
