OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
