I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
