just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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