Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
