she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
