No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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