Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
