The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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