I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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