SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I am available for nakedness
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
