im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
