Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
