bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
