he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
