i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
