He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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