At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
