Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
