when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
