To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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