I want to walk on stilts...naked
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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