In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You smell like stripper and shame
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
