I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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