awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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