all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think your dad took our porno
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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