So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
