I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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