apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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