She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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