I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
