can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
