I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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