Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
