i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
