I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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