Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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