I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
