why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I wish there were birth control emojis
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
