He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
