Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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