I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
