haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
