I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I am midnight drunk by noon
My pussy is not your playground.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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