I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
