I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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