if i died would you start the facebook group?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
BRING THE BAGELS
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Randomize
