Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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