Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
